These rolling boxes have been plaguing our roadways with their hideousness for YEARS! Someone really needs to stop the car manufacturers from allowing the wheels of these things to ever touch a paved road again! I hate these things. From the sliding side doors, to the stale smell of cheese balls (they all smell like stale cheese balls) because your children are slobs and drop food, I hate them (your children, as well as your mini-vans).
But we need to lug around the whole family!
Yes, I get the need to roll around with more square footage than a standard sedan. But the year is not 1992... We have crossovers and SUV's now! They are sportier, and if you are a soccer mom, you look much hotter when stepping out of anything other than a minivan! Check out this crap of a minivan I found a picture of (this hunk of garbage was for sale online!), ignore the rust and the different paint. Does it look like Chrysler was even trying?!? I hope whatever group of engineers green-lighted this project was immediately escorted off Chrysler property... Even with a brand spanking new paint job and new interior, I would not be able to own this thing. Every day, I would wake up and have to make one very important decision. Do I drive the minivan, or do I kill myself?
Enter Scion.
What in the hell was Scion thinking? Their flagship car was the offspring of a crappy minivan, and a Volkswagon beetle... and the poor child inherited the body of the minivan and the frame of the beetle.
Enter Scion.
What in the hell was Scion thinking? Their flagship car was the offspring of a crappy minivan, and a Volkswagon beetle... and the poor child inherited the body of the minivan and the frame of the beetle.
In what universe is this a nice vehicle? Hell, I wonder if the owner purchased the rims for this thing as a joke, because the car needs much more than rims to do it justice. It needs to be a completely different vehicle.
Did the people at Scion get together and think: "Ok, the minivan was already created. So, in order to be fresh, let's take the minivan, and strip it of all minivan functionality!"
They had a short run of success when they created the DJ inspired Scion xA, with a turntable station in the rear... but then DJ's started realizing they were duped because no venue would let them drive their cars onto the stage! I'm just glad you don't see more of these things. That means I am not the only person that was fooled by their attempt to market a "hipster kid" vehicle. Nissan was fooled, and now they have a Nissan Cube. Think really hard, you don't see many Nissan Cubes. Why? Because they suck, and like the minivan, we don't need them.
Did the people at Scion get together and think: "Ok, the minivan was already created. So, in order to be fresh, let's take the minivan, and strip it of all minivan functionality!"
They had a short run of success when they created the DJ inspired Scion xA, with a turntable station in the rear... but then DJ's started realizing they were duped because no venue would let them drive their cars onto the stage! I'm just glad you don't see more of these things. That means I am not the only person that was fooled by their attempt to market a "hipster kid" vehicle. Nissan was fooled, and now they have a Nissan Cube. Think really hard, you don't see many Nissan Cubes. Why? Because they suck, and like the minivan, we don't need them.
Final Analysis.
With all of the advancements we have had in the auto industry, let's leave minivans to Mexican painters (too racist?), and that is it. Women aren't hot in them. Men look like idiots driving them. No one ever takes care of them. They smell. They're an eyesore. I hate them.
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