Do we really need... To share the road?

So...  cyclists, what gives?  Why (for at least the past decade) have you been trying to over-take what's otherwise known as our country's fine road-system?  When the hell did you come up with the fantastic idea to navigate a 45lb or less aluminum tube-framed, two-wheeled, 20mph max-speed vehicle on the same infrastructure that 2,000lb steel-bodied 60mph rolling solid death dealers use?

The operative word is share.

There you are.  Enjoying the beautiful day, getting a ton of useful exercise, and being totally oblivious to the fact that there is a line of cars behind you with occupants vehemently wishing you didn't exist.  Sound terrible?  To us "drivers" (which, is extremely inflammatory and we get offended when you refer to us as such), you are a step below mopeds.  Yup.  We'd much rather get stuck behind a person who, on three separate occasions, didn't learn not to drink and drive.  You're a step beneath them.

Here's the thing.  People don't want to despise you!  We are all for sharing this wonderful road.  Keep in mind, however, while you are enjoying the road in all its' glory, we are stuck behind you only using the road for about, 10% of what it's made of.  It's wonderful to cruise at 14mph on a bike;  It's literally a f*cking nightmare trying to do 14mph in a car behind you.

So please, next time you suit up (in clothes that would never be deemed acceptable in any other scenario), before you put on that pressed foam/plastic helmet, and before you show the entire community just how into fitness you really are, please remember to keep looking behind you on the friggin agenda.

The only thing actually worse than getting stuck behind a cyclist, is getting stuck behind a car who has the stick-figure-family stickers on the back, where the stick figure family are all posing with bicycles.  Even the family dog has one.  I'm not sure where you people come from, but I guarantee no one has ever said: "Thank you God...  I was seriously wondering if that family in the Honda Pilot had a fetish for severely slowing down traffic."

Final Analysis.

I kid the bikers.  Keep using the road, and when it's safe we'll simply drive around you.  But be safe out there...  when you grow a pair, I'll see you on the Mountain Biking trails.