Saturday, October 6, 2012

Do we really need... Breastaurants?





Restaurants with waitresses prancing around half-nude is not a new idea.  Hooters may have been the pioneers of these classless eateries (seriously, try to imagine yourself eating a Filet Mignon at Hooters...  seriously), but like everything else in the United States, other people copied the idea and stripped it of whatever class it might've been clinging onto.

I'm in it for the money!

First, let me just say this: I love that we live in a world in which a woman can throw out her ambitions and use her body as a money-maker.  I am embarrassed to admit that it would take hours on end to count the amount of sleazy places I have found myself in.  That being said, none of those places have ever involved me ingesting a meal!  Are you getting the places I am talking about yet?  Strip clubs!  Wait, whose idea was it to combine naked women who are off-limits and alcohol?  Yeah, nothing can ever go wrong there...  not at all.  And they have classy ones with buffets, gross.  Who wants to eat that shit?  But I digress.  Have you ever been to one of these breastaurants?  My boss took me out to one to discuss business.  There were many awkward moments where neither of us wanted to make it seem we were more into the "scenery" than our discussion...  and it took thinking of Oprah (the fat one) and football to even be physically able to stand up (think about it)!  It was too much stress to endure just to eat some friggin saurkraut and sausage!  HEY, F**K YOU BREASTAURANTS!

Final analysis.

Let's stop objectifying women as a means to make money...  on second thought, let's not.  But let's not combine the wonderful experience of eating out (double entendre?  You decide!) with sleaze.  It may just be me, but I think dining out should still be somewhat classy in an arguably classless world.

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