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Welcome to "Do We Really Need...? "!!

Here I am going to analyze (and in most cases over analyze) things that exist in this world, that are completely and utterly ridiculous. I will also occasionally write about things that I know will completely benefit society. I know what you are thinking: "Dan, I am so appreciative of you sharing your spot-on views and thoughts, and taking the time to make them public knowledge! How can we ever repay you for your painstakingly hard work?" To which I would respond: It is not painstakingly hard for me. I am really just that smart and observant. You're welcome.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Do we really need... Rascals for fat people?

If you are overweight, OK...  It happens.  Exercise more often and eat better (or, move more and eat less) and you will be able to navigate this world using your own two (tired) legs.  When did this become unacceptable?  I can understand giving a rascal to those who defended our country and lost their legs...  but to give a motorized wheel-chair to the people who can't feel (or see) their legs because of their weight?  We are stretching this one a bit folks!

I was born this way.

I am not going to jump all over the fat people in this country (as fun as a fat-person trampoline might sound)...  at the same time, I am not going to redistribute the blame to food dispensaries that made your lust for gluttony a convenience!

While Perez Hilton is getting buff, there is a grave injustice happening to Michael Moore.  While the man blasts capitalism, he is abusing the very system that created the unit that allows him to get around on a day-to-day basis!  Just look at the picture of him on the left. I wonder if his next documentary will be on the structural integrity of the Rascal... and how his fellow white people have ruined that as well.

I kid Michael Moore, I know he will never create a documentary based on facts...  Let's keep going, shall we?

Why the hell are the morbidly obese given an exemption from using their arms?  To me, it seems we would want to encourage them to exercise at least one part of their body!  We are just supposed to cater to their desire of continuing their path of being "morbidly obese"?  I am sure this guy's body has swallowed his penis...  Foreskin and all.  Who cares right?  As long as the entrances to McDonalds have the double-doors that he can fit through, no need to lose weight...  right?

Intolerant bastard, it's a health risk!

Full disclosure - I am a functioning alcoholic.  I drink a ton.  Even worse, I joke about women, the sick, the disabled, blacks, polish, afghans, whites, children, and every other group I can get my hands on...  That being said, I find it very difficult to make fun of this chick.  However, the photograph does beg the question: "Why are you still eating?"

Fuller disclosure - I am going to make fun of her anyway.  Notice the picture shows her completely ignoring the fruit on her right, while she indulges into the plate of fried stuff.  Also, notice the camera-man doesn't seem to care.  Does he find over-sized women wearing teal pool-covers attractive?  Is he even more attracted to them during their quest to pile on more body-mass?  Probably.  Even her poor bracelet's tensile strength is being tested by her meaty wrist.  I am willing to bet she was panting during this photo...  She moved her right arm from her plate to her mouth...  

A full helping of analysis.

Stop.  If you are that overweight, at least exercise your arms for God's sake!  And stay away from fried stuff!  If Mayor Bloomberg really cared about the health of people in NYC, he wouldn't ban large sodas, he would allow servers in restaurants to say: "Yeah, I don't think you really need another basket of bread!"

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