Do We Really Need... Hand-Washing Instructions?

Has this ever happened to you?


Let's picture this together.  You're sitting at a bar, enjoying a couple (more than a few) of your favorite cocktails.  I had a Stoli Greyhound, two Bombay Sapphire & tonics, a baby Guinness shot, and just polished off my dirty Belvedere martini on the rocks with a dash of Tobasco, and now I really have to use the restroom.

I get in there, take care of my "stuffs", and get to the area with the sink and mirrors...  and freeze!  Holy smokes, I know there is something I should do.  I know this thing tends to be very important... I just can't remember what!

Lucky for me, however, the owner of this fine establishment threw a couple of bucks to help bail me out of this moment.  As I am hectically searching for clues for an answer to what I am supposed to do next, I see an instructional sign on the wall in front of me (the owner sprang for pictures too...  if only he could shell out a couple of bucks for a larger TV we'd be in business!)!  As I carefully follow each instruction, step by step, I am able to efficiently wash my hands, and carry on with my night.

I know right?


By now I am sure you have come to the conclusion that my story was a complete fabrication (especially because I started the first paragraph with "Let's picture this together").  Is this sign even remotely necessary?  The only people who need instructions in hand-washing aren't even tall enough to see over the counter without someone holding them up to the sink!  As a matter of fact: I don't want to live in a world where people stand in front of a sink, and have to read "OK, so first I turn on the water, and wait until it gets warm.  Check.  Now I have to apply soap.  Check... etc."

That guy that made that protest song "Signs" (or was the title "Signs Signs Everywhere a Sign"?  Guess we may never know) was on to something.  His song just ended up getting weird, and I don't think he ever got to the aforementioned sign.

On a side note, am I the only one that interprets the "Employees must wash hands before leaving washroom sign" as "God, I really hope that the employees are washing their hands"!??